Building a Family: One Couple’s Journey Through Infertility and IVF
When Madeline and her husband Alex met during their freshman year of college, they were just starting to explore the world together. After dating for several years, they tied the knot in 2018, fully aware that they wanted to build a family someday. For the first couple of years, though, their focus was on enjoying life as a newly married couple—traveling, exploring, and embracing their time together before diving into the next chapter.
Then, in 2020, the world shifted with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Global shutdowns meant that their planned adventures were put on hold, so Madeline and Alex reconsidered their priorities and decided to start trying for a baby in 2021.
Having seen friends conceive quickly, they hoped for a similar experience. “We thought it would happen right away,” she said. But as the months passed with no pregnancy, Madeline’s anxiety began to grow.
Having known about her family’s history of infertility, including being conceived through intrauterine insemination (IUI) herself, Madeline had always been aware that her path to parenthood might not be as straightforward. Despite this, she and Alex tried to remain hopeful, assuming it would happen for them in time.
The Search for Answers
Madeline and her husband tried to conceive but month after month went by without a positive pregnancy test. During this time Madeline also discovered that she had hypothyroidism—a condition that runs in her family. It wasn’t severe, but it still required careful management, especially as she was trying to conceive.
“Having thyroid issues made me anxious because we didn’t know if it would affect my fertility, but we had to get my medication adjusted to be healthy enough for conception,” Madeline explained.
After stabilizing her thyroid and nearly two years of trying, she still wasn’t pregnant. In December 2022, Madeline reached a breaking point and turned to her OB for help. She shared her feelings about the difficult decision, saying, “I just wanted so badly to not have to go to a doctor. I wanted it to work for us. I wanted our bodies to do what they’re naturally supposed to do, and it didn’t. And that was disheartening. But once we got started with the doctors, I was like, okay, game plan, let’s go so.”
Madeline had heard stories of family members and friends who had successfully used Clomid, a common medication for fertility, and was hopeful that it would work for her as well. At the time, though, she was also preparing for her CPA exams, so her doctor advised her to wait until she was done with her exams to start the medication due to the emotional challenges it would potentially bring. Initially, Madeline listened to her doctor’s recommendation, but she was eager to start a family and ultimately decided to tackle both the exams and the medication simultaneously.
The first few cycles were rough. The medications caused uncomfortable side effects, and despite her best efforts, Madeline’s body just wasn’t responding as she had hoped. “After three cycles with my OB, we had no success, and the side effects were pretty bad,” she admitted. At this time, she and Alex made the decision to seek more specialized help at Fertility Centers of Illinois (FCI).
Treatments at Fertility Centers of Illinois
Madeline sought care from Dr. Elie Hobeika, who she shared was very compassionate and straightforward about their journey, stating, “I appreciated Dr. Hobeika walking through every single process with us, coming up with like a game plan. I’m very Type A person. I need to know what’s going on.” She also expressed gratitude for his nurse team throughout the process saying, “Paige [my nurse] was always so incredibly positive with us through every single phone call. I needed a light like that.”
Madeline went through fertility testing at FCI and the tests did not provide conclusive reasons for why she wasn’t getting pregnant. She expressed her anxiety around the uncertainty, saying, “I wish that the diagnosis would have been something else so that we knew exactly what was going on. We didn’t know what was going to work for us. We didn’t know what kind of medications would work or what kind of procedure would work.”
The couple began their first round of IUI with letrozole, hoping that this would be their solution, but things didn’t go as planned. “During our first IUI, we actually missed my ovulation by a day,” Madeline remembered. “I had gone in one day with no signs of ovulation, but the next day, I ovulated in that 24-hour window. It was devastating.” As a result, they didn’t complete the IUI and treated it as another medicated cycle.
After that disappointing first cycle, they tried two more medicated IUIs, but each one ended in failure. The couple, discouraged yet determined, decided to take the next step: In vitro fertilization (IVF). “I was nervous, scared, and overwhelmed. I didn’t know anyone personally who had gone through IVF, so I didn’t know what to expect,” she said.
Despite her anxiety about the medical process, including the many injections and medications required for IVF, Madeline was determined. “I’ve always had a fear of needles,” she said, “but I just kept telling myself, ‘I can do this. I’m doing this for my family.’” Her husband Alex played a crucial role in supporting her through the IVF process. “He did all of the injections for me,” she shared, “and he was right there with me every step of the way. I’m forever grateful for that.”
Along the way, Madeline found solace in connecting with others who had gone through IVF. A friend of a friend shared her own IVF experience with Madeline, walking her through what to expect. “That was so helpful for me. And then there was another friend from college who shared her IVF story online. That really helped ease my anxiety and made me feel like I wasn’t alone.” She also disconnected from social media to avoid triggering posts from friends and family who were not sharing the same infertility struggle.
Navigating Fertility Treatments During the Holidays
The IVF process was emotionally taxing, especially as it overlapped with the holidays. “It was hard to go through the holiday season without knowing if this was going to work,” Madeline reflected. While they found comfort in Christmas movies, the weight of another holiday season without a baby was heavy.
To make matters more stressful, she started to feel ill around Christmas and was worried something was wrong. Concerned, she called the FCI emergency line to see what she should do. “Dr. Hobeika was on a flight that night that I had called in the emergency line, but he called me back first thing,” she recalled. “He had gotten the message that I needed to talk to him, and he called me back the second that he landed. He took the time to talk me down on a holiday when he could be spending time with his family. He thought what I was experiencing could be a pregnancy sign, which was a relief to hear. I remember that moment being so grateful to have a doctor that really cared enough to take time out of their holiday to call me back.”
A Positive Pregnancy Test
Two days after Christmas, Madeline received incredible news that she was pregnant. “We were in complete shock when we found out we were pregnant. We honestly couldn’t believe it,” she recalled. “I had to take an at-home test just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.”
The couple was overjoyed but cautious, as the first trimester was a challenging period. “I had all-day morning sickness, and I was nervous about everything, especially because we’d been through so much to get to this point.”
When she reached the second trimester, Madeline’s pregnancy began to feel more real. Her OB took over her care, and although she felt a bit of “withdrawal” from the team at FCI who had supported her through so much, she quickly developed a great relationship with her new doctor. “I was in good hands, and that helped me feel at ease,” she said.
A Beautiful Beginning
Madeline welcomed her son, Brooks, in September 2024. Now, with a healthy baby boy, Madeline described the next chapter in her life with gratitude, sharing, “Parenthood has been amazing. It’s definitely an adjustment, but we feel so blessed. He is everything we dreamed about. Our little guy is such a joy.”
Reflecting on her experience, Madeline is proud of how far she and Alex have come. “I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was,” she said. “The whole IVF process was hard, but I did it. I’m so proud of myself, and I’m proud of us for getting through it together.”
Her advice to others who may be struggling with infertility is simple but powerful: “Find someone who has been through this before, someone who can really connect with you. And create a positive environment for yourself. This is such an emotional journey, and you need to take care of yourself.”
As Madeline and Alex look ahead to their future, including potentially expanding their family, they feel ready to face whatever challenges come their way. But for now, they are cherishing every moment with their little one, feeling blessed and grateful for the family they have built.
A Journey Worth Taking
Madeline’s story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It is a reminder that the path to parenthood may not always be easy, but with perseverance, support, and hope, it is possible. Her experience is a beacon of hope for others navigating similar challenges—showing that, even when the road is long and uncertain, the reward at the end is more than worth it.
